When you look back upon the past year, what do you remember? Do you like those memories? Could you have created better memories? Every year I travel to places that I’ve never been before, and one reason is that I love acquiring the memories that come from travel. This question helped me lean into lots of delightful travel experiences. My mind seems to value those memories so little that it didn’t store them in any meaningful detail. Of all the social media interactions and online commentary you’ve posted over the past decade, what do you remember? I remember very little of it. This is a really powerful question, and some people have gained immediate clarity the first time they’ve asked it. So which memories do you want?ĭo you want the memories of maintaining your current social media habits for the next 10 years? (It’s extremely rare to find someone who can honestly answer yes to this.)ĭo you want the memories of keeping your current job for another year? What about your current relationship situation?ĭo you want the memories of taking that trip, or would you rather have the memories of not taking it? Do I want the memory?Įvery decision ultimately becomes a memory, and the sum of your decisions will eventually become a string of memories. If I held back, I’d be keeping myself out of alignment with him. This still wasn’t an easy decision, but at least I knew that if I could do it, it would bring me further into alignment with my best self. Would my best self do this? Of course he would. He’s strong enough to deal with the consequences.Īsking this question removed enough doubt to make it so. Even if things didn’t turn out so well, he could handle that too. For him it’s enough to feel secure in who he is. He doesn’t want to depend on ownership of intellectual property for his sense of security. He could handle the consequences of giving so much away and letting the world run with it. My best self is brave, generous, and creative. If uncopyrighting my work would help more people than keeping it copyrighted, my best self would pull the trigger and do it. When I asked if my best self would do this, the answer was clear. It seemed like a huge leap, and there was no good way to predict the outcome. But I often wondered what would happen if I let go of that ownership and donated it to the public domain. I had created a tremendous body of intellectual property, and I owned it 100%. Would my best self do this?Īsking this question gave me clarity when I was trying to decide whether or not to uncopyright all my blog posts back in 2010. Part of me doesn’t want it to be a yes, especially when the decision involves facing a fear, a lack of skill, or a lot of extra work, but it’s a good step to at least admit that if I move forward and say yes, I know it will be a growth experience. Sometimes my answer to this question takes the form of a grudging dammit, yes. Yes… but will it be a growth experience? If a decision will help me grow, then I’m inclined to lean into it. There are many situations where fear and hesitation might hold me back, and then my mind wanders towards justification. When the growth aspect faded and the experience became overly familiar, I quit Toastmasters and shifted my attention elsewhere. But I went to my first meeting and joined a club because I figured that it would be a growth experience, and it certainly was. I felt a bit anxious about getting involved with the group since I didn’t think it would be a comfortable experience to practice public speaking. Even though it’s more work, I favor doing new workshops because a new workshop pushes me to learn and grow a lot more than repeating a past workshop does.Īsking this question helped me join Toastmasters in 2004, and I remained a member until 2010. It’s one reason I usually don’t repeat workshops. This heuristic gives me a bias to embrace the new, as opposed to repeating something I’ve already done. If I see little or no growth on a particular path, I’ll tend to lean against it. Since growth is one of my highest personal values, I favor decisions where I can expect to learn and growth. When I face tough decisions, here are some of my favorite questions to ask: Will this help me grow? A good question can shift your perspective about your decision and make the wise path obvious. Sometimes all it takes to gain sufficient clarity though is to ask the right questions. There are many processes you can use to make intelligent decisions, but all of them have shortcomings when you’re dealing with imperfect information. Sometime you’ll encounter tough decisions that can leave you wallowing in indecision, such as whether to change jobs or careers, end a relationship, move to a new city, or pursue a new lifestyle direction.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |